Losing Pare

There is a pall of gloom upon my house right now.

Last night our helper lost our beloved three year old pug, Pare. Right under her nose. Right under her watch.

We came home at 6:30PM and I recall seeing him briefly in the garage. By 845PM, M, our helper said casually, "Wala si Pare?" I was no longer able to finish my dinner, as did the kids. I flew out of the house, on to the streets in my tsinelas and began looking for him. After about 20 minutes of going up and down our streets, I decided to drive to my mom's house, pick up two of her helpers and when we got back home, resumed our search. We did not find him.

Today we put up posters on all the village gates, sent out flyers to all our neighbors and prayed. But I am numb. I cannot even cry. Neither can Pia, who loved the dog dearly. I don't know, maybe when you have experienced one loss after another, something in you dies. either that or your heart just becomes stronger? I don't know.

It's now almost 24 hours since he disappeared. I hope that whoever has him is good to him. I pray he will be returned to us by someone whose conscience will bother him or her. I mean what blessing can there be in a stolen dog? You have taken someone else's joy. God sees everything, whoever you are.

We are sad. So sad but life has to go on. It's a painful loss. I know it's not quite right to say but -- better a dog than a person. Para na lang hindi ako masyadong malungkot.

A part of me wants to strangle the helper who lost him. She's really been such a challenge to us. And now this. Sanctions obviously have to be put into place. He was a beloved family dog.

My family's grief is in suspended animation right now. We are sad but we cannot cry just yet. And again, I keep telling myself and my children, God allows this for a reason. May we be able to discern it. And if it is part of His plan, may He return Pare back home to us.