Another Project To Remember Migi By

A few months back, November 10 to be exact, I wrote about a daycare center that Migi's Corner and my high school batch '82 was setting up for the employees of our alma mater, Maryknoll/Miriam College. Sponsored by Migi's Corner and Maryknoll College High School Batch '82, it will be called the Miriam College Daycare Center.

Construction on the project began last Wednesday, January 9 and a small group of good friends, classmates of mine, went to visit the site. Ginny who was here, visiting from Singapore, Larcy and myself, had lunch at Cafe Mary Grace over at Serendra, and from there, motored back to Katipunan.

It's always nice visiting the old school. Ginny had not seen it for ages and was momentarily sentimental. Larcy was trying to identify locations of old familiar places. I guess we are now in that life stage where looking back and reminiscing old times is as normal as breathing :)


The daycarer is located in a lovely, shaded area on campus, close to the grade school. It is the first of it's kind in the Philippines. We are grateful to te Superferry for generously providing us with the 40-ft container van to house the daycare. At the site last Wednesday, we met up with Jorja Santos- Macapagal, another batchmate of ours who was awarded the bidding for the construction of the daycare. I was very happy to see the bid go to a batchmate. Though the project has been fraught with great difficulty, I was just so happy to finally see it get off the ground, literally. A huge part of the work is being done by another architect batchmate, Boots Belmonte-Caingat whose been really passionate about the daycare from day one.

Jorja says that it will take four to five weeks to finish the work. After that, another week to set up the toys, books, furnishings etc... that will go into the daycare. We expect to get it up and running by mid-February, God-willing.


The Lord has been so faithful in providing for the needs of this project. This early, I wish to thank everyone who has graciously given out of their hearts for the project. Forty percent of the funding comes from HS Batch '82, the 60% is covered by Migi's Corner in the form of both cash and donated materials. The architect who has donated her services gratis et amore is a batchmate. The project had to be re-opened for bidding because the initial cost was too high, in the re-bidding, the construction was won by another batchmate. The Memorandum of Agreement was drafted by another lawyer-batchmate, Mylene Yumul-Espina. It seems like every step of the way we are truly being guided by an unseen hand. The story itself of how the van came to be is an amazing example of how HIS hand moves. It never ceases to amaze me to see how His hand has worked magnificently with every Migi's Corner that has been built. For this reason I always like to say that these corners have never been about me, or my son. Our life circumstance was just the vehicle and the inspiration to pursue this kind of work. This has never been about personal glory but about giving back the glory to God who makes all things possible. It is really all about watching God's hand at work. How HE faithfully brings together the people and the resources to complete the work is just truly amazing. However, on a personal note, I know it is also HIS way of constantly bringing comfort to my family through the years. Once again, His timing is ever perfect. This is our 14th project for Migi's Corner, and on February 21, 2008, Migi will be 14 in heaven. I know there's no coincidence in that and I thank HIM for his continuing grace over the last decade since Migi went back home to his real home in heaven.

A Baby In Heaven

This beautiful poem was shared to me by blogmate Dine Racoma who lost her beloved grandson just last week. Writing, like art and music, is a healthy and creative way of expressing one's grief. The poem will tug at any bereaved parent's heart.

You came to us
God's loving gift
Our baby boy
Our source of joy.

You gave us love
The purest kind
Your perfect smile
Your touch so mild.

We had our hopes
Our dreams, our plans
Until one day
God reached out His hand.

He called you home
He needed you
To join His host of Angels
So mighty, so strong.

You said, "Yes Lord."
Then bid us good bye
"I'll watch over you
From heaven up high."

Dear Joseph Michael
Our baby, our Angel
You are God's gift to us
And you are our gift to God.

We love you,
Daddy Joseph Angelo
Mommy Caren Marie
Ate Sofia Bernice
Ate Agatha Clarisse

Joseph Michael G. Racoma
20 August-3 October 2007

Thank you Dine for sharing this. Our prayers are with you and your family. Grieve well.

Is Wrong To Ask God "Why?"

Often in my work as a grief counselor, counseling people through periods of loss and transition, people always ask "Is it wrong to ask God why?" That's a tough question to answer and one that I used to ponder on myself. Personally, I don't think it's bad to ask God "why" when one is in the throes of deep pain and suffering, blinded by the tears that accompany an occurence of deep grief. It becomes wrong I guess when we remain stuck in asking God why and turning our wrath and anger on Him and on our loved ones.

The other day, I came across a devotional by best-selling Christian author, Elizabeth Elliott who is one lady who has known many episodes of loss and grief in her life. Let me now share it here with you...

"Sometimes I've said, "O Lord, you wouldn't do this to me, would you? How could you, Lord?" I can recall such times later on and realize that my perspective was skewed. One Scripture passage which helps me rectify it is Isaiah 45:9-11 (NEB): "Will the pot contend with the potter, or the earthenware with the hand that shapes it? Will the clay ask the potter what he is making?... Thus says the Lord, would you dare question me concerning my children, or instruct me in my handiwork? I alone, I made the earth and created man upon it." He knows exactly what He is doing. I am clay.

The word humble comes from the root word humus, earth, clay. Let me remember that when I question God's dealings. I don't understand Him, but then I'm not asked to understand, only to trust. Bitterness dissolves when I remember the kind of love with which He has loved me--He gave Himself for me. He gave Himself for me. He gave Himself for me. Whatever He is doing now, therefore, is not cause for bitterness. It has to be designed for good, because He loved me and gave Himself for me.\n\n\u003cp\>Is it a sin to ask God why?\n\n\u003cp\>It is always best to go first for our answers to Jesus Himself. He cried out on the cross, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" It was a human cry, a cry of desperation, springing from His heart's agony at the prospect of being put into the hands of wicked men and actually becoming sin for you and me. We can never suffer anything like that, yet we do at times feel forsaken and cry, Why, Lord?

The psalmist asked why. Job, a blameless man, suffering horrible torments on an ash heap, asked why. It does not seem to me to be sinful to ask the question. What is sinful is resentment against God and His dealings with us. When we begin to doubt His love and imagine that He is cheating us of something we have a right to, we are guilty as Adam and Eve were guilty. They took the snake at his word rather than God. The same snake comes to us repeatedly with the same suggestions: Does God love you? Does He really want the best for you? Is His word trustworthy? Isn't He cheating you? Forget His promises. You'd be better off if you do it your way.

I have often asked why. Many things have happened which I didn't plan on and which human rationality could not explain. In the darkness of my perplexity and sorrow I have heard Him say quietly, Trust Me. He knew that my question was not the challenge of unbelief or resentment. I have never doubted that He loves me, but I have sometimes felt like St. Teresa of Avila who, when she was dumped out of a carriage into a ditch, said, "If this is the way You treat your friends, no wonder You have so few!" Job was not, it seems to me, a very patient man. But he never gave up his conviction that he was in God's hands. God was big enough to take whatever Job dished out (see Job 16 for a sample). Do not be afraid to tell Him exactly how you feel (He's already read your thoughts anyway). Don't tell the whole world. God can take it--others can't. Then listen for His answer. Six scriptural answers to the question WHY come from: 1 Peter 4:12-13 (Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though somethings strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.); Romans 5:3-4 (Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.) ; 2 Corinthians 12:9 ( But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."); John 14:31 ( but the world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded me. "Come now; let us leave."); Romans 8:17 (Now if we are children, then we are heirs -- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.); and finally, Colossians 1:24 ( Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his bosy, which is the church.). There is mystery, but it is not all mystery. Here are clear reasons."

So yes, if you are reading this and wanting to ask God "Why?" then my reply is, go ahead and ask the questions but believe that, just as he has promised, "all thing work for good for those who love the Lord." From the depths of suffering and darkness trust that one day there will be great rejoicing and light.

Help A Grieving Child

Do you know a child (between the ages of 3 to 18) who is grieving? Are you interested in helping that child?

Come to our special seminar on "Helping Children Grieve" on Monday, September 24, 2007 at the Greenhills Christian Fellowship church on Ruby corner Garnet Roads in the Ortigas business district. My husband and I will be facilitating a two-hour video/workshop on how to better understand a child's grieving process. This will be very helpful to doctors, parents, educators or anyone working with children. The workshop starts at 6:30 PM.

There is no fee. Just call 0917-529-1964 to register or email griefisajourney@gmail.com

Please pass on this information to those whom you think might benefit from attending this session. Thanks!

Life After A Miscarriage, One Year Later

Exactly one year ago today, God gave me a second lease on life.

Some moments in life change you forever and
my loss last year was one such event. By no coincidence, there is a lunar eclipse tonight - a "Red Moon Rising". Reading about it in the papers today I thought for a moment, what could be the significance of that? I Googled it and found a book with the exact same title that talks about a 24-7 prayer movement that begun in London in 1999. The book talks about the power of prayer and how it can see one through in the darkest of times. Prayer is the "red moon rising" against the backdrop of a dark evening sky. I suppose God only wanted to remind me of His promise and His faithfulness amidst difficult and challenging times. That no matter how dark the landscape may seem to be, He will always be there for us and that all we need to do is call on Him.


It took me a while to get over that loss. Looking back now I guess I was just so glad to make it through a life-threatening situation that it was months later when I realized that, "Hey, I lost another child too." In November last year, H and I began to facilitate Griefshare and it was there, in one of the sessions that the loss finally sank in. A miscarriage, such as the one I had, is a valid loss and it takes anywhere from six - nine months for the the physical body and the emotions to get back to normal. It's no wonder then why in December, four months after my surgery, I was still weepy and touchy. I can say now that it was only around March or April this year, that I was finally able to move on.

And by moving on, I closed a chapter in my work life, but then by God's grace, a new one was born and my work life, in a sense, came full circle as I returned to the paper that first nurtured me into becoming the writer that I am now.

In the year past, there are many things that I have re-evaluated and have painfully come to terms with, to this day, the story continues to unfold. Many lessons have been given to me in the last 12 months. Last week I had lunch with my good friend Alya and I was telling (more like ranting) to her about several changes in my life. Always wise, she told me that for most of us at this stage, a "spring cleaning" of sorts is necssary when we realize that the old ways and the old relationships do not work anymore. When the winter of one's life has passed, one needs to weed out and prune, sometimes painfully, what is unecessary in order to make way for the new life and growth that spring brings.

Today I thank God for the second lease in life He has given me. Lord grant me the wisdom and grace to live it well in accordance to your purpose and will for me.